there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
