We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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