i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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