There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Randomize