Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
