Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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