I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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