therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
