I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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