I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Randomize
