So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
