We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize