Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
