Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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