The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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