does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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