Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
