Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
