Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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