i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize