Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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