If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
