I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
