i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
