Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize
