We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
