He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
