theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
It was a blind-side dick pic.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
