well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
