tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
