I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
