CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
