We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
