Do you still have your period?
Tell her she can't have a vagina
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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