Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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