well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
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So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
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You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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