i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
