He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
