if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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