i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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