i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
