I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
