I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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