Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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