I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I'm just crazy horny about you
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
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