mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
