don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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