Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
