so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
