You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
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My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
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I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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