No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
