big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
