He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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