Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Randomize
