Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
