Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
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