you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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