I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize