im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
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