You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
