Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
We are all done wearing pants today
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
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