Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Randomize
