You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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